Search the extraction

EnshitifAi

Maximizing shareholder value by minimizing customer value since 2024.

^ETSHT ▲ · Rebalanced quarterly

Practice

Value Extraction Audit
Subscription Optimization
Dark Pattern Design
Cancellation Flow Consulting

Firm

About
The Index
Field Notes
Careers
Contact
@enshitifai on X

Legal

Privacy Policy*
Terms of Service**
Cookie Policy***
Arbitration Addendum †
Attorney Review Memo ‡

* We collect everything. Our counsel has advised us not to elaborate.
** Subject to change without notice (most recent change: last Tuesday, 2:47am EST; a second change, related to the first, is pending as of this writing).
*** All cookies, all the time. The cookie banner is in development. We know.
† Our arbitration partner is in Wilmington. The greater Wilmington area.
‡ Reviewed by outside counsel on April 14. Brand Guidelines Compliance Review pending.

A parody website. Not affiliated with any companies mentioned. (We have been advised.)

This footer was last refreshed at 11:43pm PST by a member of our Brand & Tone Working Group, who would like it noted that she was not consulted on the original draft.

If a copy of the official EnshitifAi brand typeface (Helvetica Neue, Medium, 11/14, -1% tracking) is missing from your render, please do not screenshot this page. Please do not share this page. Please email compliance.

We maintain a presence on X. The Brand & Tone Working Group has asked that this not be characterized as an endorsement of the platform. The minutes record it as meeting the audience where the audience is already being held.

We are aware the Busy Bee is missing from the office. We have been told it will be replaced. We have been told this on four separate occasions.