Unlock the True
Value of Your Customers
We help forward-thinking companies transition from customer satisfaction to customer value extraction. Because shareholder value doesn't grow itself.
$4.2T
Value Extracted
21+
Partners Served
0
Lawsuits Won
100%
Profit Focus
Hall of Extraction
Top performers ranked by customer value extracted
Don't Be Evil (Terms and Conditions Apply)
$1.2T
extracted
Amazon
since 2015From 'Customer Obsession' to 'Customer Extraction'
$847B
extracted
Meta/Facebook
since 2014Connecting People to Advertisements
$621B
extracted
Tesla
since 2021Subscribe to Your Own Car
$420B
extracted
TikTok
since 2020Your Attention is Our Product
$380B
extracted
Adobe
since 2013Creativity Requires a Subscription
$267B
extracted
Combined extraction: $4.2T+ and counting
Our Services
Comprehensive solutions for maximum value extraction
Subscription Traps
Convert one-time purchases into recurring revenue streams. If they bought it, they can rent it again.
Dark Pattern Design
UX optimization that makes the profitable choice the only visible choice.
Service Degradation
Strategic quality reduction to drive users toward premium tiers.
Cancellation Labyrinths
Turn a 1-click signup into a 47-step odyssey of retention.
Shrinkflation Consulting
Same price, less product. The math checks out for shareholders.
AI-Powered Extraction
Machine learning models trained on billions of data points to find new extraction vectors.
What Our Partners Say
“EnshitifAi helped us see that customer trust is a depletable resource, and we should deplete it faster.”
Definitely Not a CEO
Major Tech Company
“Our users used to love us. Now they're trapped. Same thing, really.”
Anonymous Founder
Popular Social Platform
“We never knew how much money we were leaving on the table by having a functional product.”
Chief Revenue Officer
Streaming Service
Ready to Extract?
Schedule your complimentary Value Extraction Assessment today.
(Just $100,000 after the free consultation)
DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical website. EnshitifAi is not a real company. This site is a parody commentary on the concept of "enshittification" as coined by Cory Doctorow. No actual consulting services are offered. All company references are for satirical purposes only.